One year in process!

This week we passed our ONE YEAR anniversary of beginning the adoption process. I’m not sure how I feel about that, which is probably why this is going to be a babbling post, but this is why we started our blog in the first place… to document our journey and thoughts on Bringing E home.


Let’s do a quick recap of One year in process….

• 10 months waiting for a referral . . .

• But the last 4 of them being “ON HOLD STATUS” . . .

• Due to Biological pregnancy (that was previously considered not-medically possible). . . but

• Baby Faith due in February 2011. . .

• CWA placed us on “Hold Status” until Baby Faith is 6 months old. . .

• Will become on “Active status” again in August of 2011 and will get a referral soon thereafter!

Changes/issues that have arisen in the past 12 months:

• CWA unjustifiably investigated for unethical adoption practices in Ethiopia.
• Thought: what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger! CWA has definitely come out on top.
• Ethiopia changes procedure requiring adoptive parents to travel to Ethiopia 2 times – once for the court hearing and then again for the embassy appointment. (thus doubling travelling fees). 
• Thought – get to meet and bond with Baby E earlier, and soak in the culture of her birth country … not to mention get a dry run of travelling once without baby.. so we will be experts for trip #2! 
• Time frame between court hearing and embassy appointment creeps into 4 – 6 months due to ongoing investigations and embassy-required paperwork, etc.
• Thought: New time frame has just changed to 6-8 weeks or sooner! Also, adoptive parents and any bio parents are now appearing in court on the same day! 
• Adoption Tax Credit is extended to 2011! 
• Thought: hope we get to bring E home by 2011! 
• Surprise Pregnancy with some slight complications!
• God is good and has blessed Baby E with a sister to grow up with!
• CWA is good in that we were able to go on “Hold Status”… we will go back onto the Active List after our Bio baby is 6 months old.. and then will be one of the first ones up for referral (since our dossier will be the oldest!) 
• Keep in mind – some adoption agencies contracts state that if you become pregnant (even if it’s a miracle from God) during the adoption phase or referral phase, your contract is null and void and you lose everything!

And, even will all of this, and everything that has transpired in the past 12 months, we are more thrilled and more excited to bring Baby E home. We are not discouraged, we are not giving up, and we will continue to wait upon the Lord! We continue to get questions from people who think just because we are pregnant we will put this “whole adoption thing to rest…” Ha ha ha… they don’t know us very well… do they?

Did I think one year ago that this is where we would be?? Heck No! But, it’s not my plan, and I’m kinda diggin God’s plan right now. He knows what’s best for us. Things are going to be crazy around here for a while, but what a super-double blessing He has lined up for our family.

Here are some quotes from my posts throughout the last year (before we knew that our path would be changing so dramatically)… funny to read them and see how everything has come full circle, and lined up so beautifully, for purpose and for reason. We can see God’s hand in everything and every twist and turn our path has taken over the last year. But, we wouldn’t have it any other way!

“. . . but I guess it goes back to the whole trust and peace aspect of trusting God in this journey. He is the one who first placed this on our hearts, so He is the one who will help us grow and learn patience and peace through all of this. I must admit, I wince and pout (if truth be known) every time I see a change coming that's going to mess with MY plan, but guess what... it's not MY plan :) . . .”

“. . .I think in a world of instant gratification, it's easy to lose sight of the grand plan of things and get caught up in one little detail or set back. But we have to remember, all those little things and set backs were already figured into the grand scheme of things, unbeknownst to us. These little things are not changing our path or His plan for us or for our family-- He already figured them into the 'package deal.' . . .”

“. . . It's all apart of the plan -- the growing, the stretching, the maturing of our faith. The trusting that things will work out -- perhaps not as we have planned in our human minds -- but exactly how He has planned for it to happen . . .”

Baby Faith in 4-D

Ok, at first I wasn't sure what I would think of a 4-D view into my womb to see our sweet baby girl before she was born.  It's kind of like an invasion of privacy or spoiling a surprise.  BUT, holy cow.. I really like 3/D/4D Ultrasounds.  We saw the most wonderful views of our little one today.  We saw her open her eyes, yawn, and even sucking her fist and  playing peek-a-boo with her hands in front of her face.  The best thing is it's all captured on a CD that I can watch over and over again.  It's really neat to see her and her sweet little face.  We can already see how she looks like a good combination of both of the boys!  Of course, we think she's the most beautiful thing in the world.. but we're not biased at all :) 

So, you'll have to tilt your head slightly and have an idea of what you are looking at. (sort of like an optical illusion of the old woman vs. young woman)  BUT, here is a picture of baby Faith in 4-D.  In this photo, you can see a side view of her face!  You can see one of her eyes, which is closed, her cute button nose and part of her sweet upper and lower lips.  The blob up to the right of her face in the picture is actually her arm and hand.  She was trying to play peek-a-boo with us and the ultrasound tech and we were trying to snap a shot before she put her hands back in front of her face.  She's gonna be a stinker! 

It won't be long until she is here and then we can start our journey to get her sister in Ethiopia!    Makes me a little sad that we won't have a sneak peak into E's world before we meet her, but God already knows who she is, where she is, and when she will be coming home to her forever family.  So, we will just wait and hold on to that hope that she'll be here soon to meet her baby sister and 2 big brothers! 

Orphan Sunday, Part V

Happy Orphan Sunday! 

The last TWO ways you can consider helping and orphan or waiting child:


9. Adopt them into your family.

• Give a child a home through international, domestic, or foster care adoption.

• Adopt a young adult who has aged out of the system.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God is His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families… -Psalm: 68:5-6a NIV

10. Mobilize your church for them.

• Be a catalyst in your church for starting a sustained orphan’s ministry. Visit HopeForOrphans.org for resources and to learn more about attending a Your Church and the Orphan™ workshop.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you. -Matthew 28:18-20

Personal thoughts:

I’ve said it before .. adoption is not for everyone. God doesn’t call everyone to adopt, but I do think that it is a proven fact that God expects all Christians to have some part in caring for the orphans and widows (both literally and spiritually). I also heard a lot of great quotes this weekend at the Mid-Atlantic Orphan Summit, but one that stuck with me about if you should or shouldn’t adopt, was this: Wow~  That quote came from Eileen Mestas (http://www.jobsdaughters.blogspot.com/).  I'm not sure if that's her own quote or from someone else.. but it was certainly a quote that stuck with me.  How true!  Eileen was awesome and such an inspiration.  We had the privilege to personally speak with her and meet her sweet twin daughters from Ethiopia.  Such an amazing woman and testimony. (I’ll post later on some of the great speakers (Tom Davis) and testimonies that we heard this weekend).

“God does not call the equipped; He equips those who He calls.”

Bottom line – We had doubts, and sometimes we still do from time to time.  BUT, we didn't want to be one of those couples sitting on their porch swing 30 years from now with regrets and questions about what IF WE DID adopt…how would our lives be blessed now?  Could we have afforded it even though we didn't think we could? etc., etc.  We didn't want fear of the unknown make our decision that will forever change a child’s life (and ours!).

As far as mobilizing in our church. We are not quite there yet, but are heading in the right direction. My goal is to definitely have an Orphan Sunday event next year and we also want to help other couples who are considering adoption.. not sure what that looks like (help with dossier prep, monetary contributions, support groups, etc.) But, we definitely want to ‘pay it forward ‘in some way, shape or form.

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

Orphan Sunday, Part IV

Here are #'s 7 & 8 (as taken from the Hope for Orphans literature, "10 Ways Every Christian can care for the Orphan and Waiting Child.")

#7.  GIVE sacrificially to them

• Support reputable orphan care organizations on a regular basis.
• Contribute generously to an adoptive family to help offset their costs. Visit ShaohannahsHope.org or LifeSongForOrphans.org.

Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. -2 Corinthians 9:7

#8.  ENCOURAGE them to press on

• Sponsor a child, support them financially, and encourage them through your letters. Visit VisionTrust.org to learn more.
• Become a mentor or tutor to a teenager in a foster group-home.

We urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. –1 Thessalonians 5:14

See video:  This is the reality for many children today! 


Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.



Personal Thoughts....

The video that I posted regarding #8 is tough to watch.  I breaks my heart but that is the reality today for so many children.  I didn't post it to make anyone 'feel bad' but just to advocate for those who live with those consequences every day.  If you are looking for ways to support a child, there are so many organizations out there that support orphans or foster care children.  Make sure it's a reputable company.  Most of your donations are even tax deductible.  Programs like Compassion International support children and you can even write letters back and forth, get pictures and some have been lucky enough to travel to where their sponsored child is and meet them face-to-face. 


Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.



Also, consider donating money or holding a fundraiser for someone in the process of adoption.  Adoption is expensive, and there's lots of other costs such as travel fees, embassy fees, and just preparing for another child or children to come into your family.  Airmiles can also be donated to be used for travel, which is an awesome blessing.  Again, most donations made to a family or agency in the name of a family are tax deductible.  If you need names of families that are adopting, I'll be glad to provide a list for you :) 

Orphan Sunday, Part III

Here are #'s 5 & 6 for ways that you could consider caring for an orphan or waiting child: (as taken from the Hope for Orphans literature, "10 Ways Every Christian can care for the Orphan and Waiting Child."


#5.  Protect Them From Harm.

• Become a Foster Parent or an Emergency Foster Parent.
• Raise money to build a children's home to help remove children from the streets.  Visit WorldOrphans.org for details. 

#6.  Visit Them Where They Are. 

• Go on a mission trip as an individual or a family.  Visit GainUSA.org or HelpOrphans.org for information.
• Take dinner to a foster/group home on a regular basis.

Additional Info: 

If you are interested in getting information on becomming a Foster Parent or an Emergency Foster Parent, go to the National Foster Parent Association for specific state information.  http://www.nfpainc.org/  There should also be local organizations that can help you start the process. 

Food for thought . . . According to the most current AFCARS (Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System Report) Report, released in September 2010, there were approximately 423,773 children in the U. S. in foster care on September 30, 2009. The full report is available online via the Children's Bureau website at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/tar/report17.htm.

Orphan Sunday, Part II

Here are 2 more ways you could consider caring for an orphan or waiting child: (as taken from the Hope for Orphans literature, "10 Ways Every Christian can care for the Orphan and Waiting Child."

#3.  Provide for their needs. 

• Give sacrificially to a reputable orphanage. Financial gifts can be designated for specific items and aid needed by orphans. Visit HelpOrphans.org for more information.
• Organize a drive in your church to collect school supplies for children in foster care or shoes for orphans overseas. Visit GainUSA.org or ShoesForOrphanSouls.org.

If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food…and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? -
James 2:15-16

#4.  Support those who support them. 

• Mow, baby sit, or organize meals for a week for foster parents. Pray with them and tell them you appreciate what they do.
• Encourage a family adopting an older child by hosting a shower for them.

and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds... -

Hebrews 10:24

My personal thoughts :) 

On a personal note, these 2 are EASY.  Everyone can certainly spare a pair of shoes to send to an orphan, or a $25 gift or more towards a foster home or orphanage.  Add up how much you spend on coffee or fast food in a week or month and donate that amount -- you'd be surprised how much you could come up with (and you might be a bit healther for it!)   Or, if you have kids, teach them the importance of giving to others.  Start a change jar and donate what you get in a 3 or 6 month period to an orphanage or foster care home of their choice.  www.ricebowls.org is a really cool spin on a change jar that's easy for kids or your organization to do.  We have done this several times at church and the kids (and adults) really do well.  You fill the 'rice bowl' (which the company provides free of cost) with spare change.  Once it is full, you send it in and all proceeds go to feed children and provide food for orphanages... it's really easy if you commit to doing it!   

Encouragement to those adopting or fostering is also so important.  Most folks to choose to adopt or foster aren't doing it for kudos from others, but it is sure nice to know that others support what you are doing.  Many times families who choose to adopt or foster are often questioned about their motives or purpose.  Be the light in these folk's day by saying positive things about what they are doing :)  Drop off a meal, offer to help shuttle their older kids to play-dates or sporting practice, etc. 

Mid-Atlantic Orphan Summit

I'm so excited. Look what I found that is close to me!   Wanna join me?  http://midatlanticorphansummit.com/

Orphan Sunday, Part I

Sunday, November 7th is Orphan Sunday. (an initiative of the Christian Alliance for Orphans). November 8th is actually the ONE YEAR anniversary that we applied for our adoption. At the time, we didn’t realize that we applied to CWA on Orphan Sunday, but found it pretty significant after the fact! 


Back in July and early August, I was already planning to have an Orphan Sunday event complete with a meal, fundraiser, silent auction, etc. But, due to some of the uncertainties with my medical stuff, I had to cancel it. Nevertheless, the hope of advocating for the Orphan hasn’t gone away, so I’m going to take a week or so to post a few ways we can all advocate for the orphan. I’m not saying that everyone should adopt. Adoption is not for everyone, but there are other ways that all people can get involved in caring for the orphan via foster care, support, adoption, etc.

Hope for Orphans, a ministry of Family Life, has published a resource called "10 Ways Every Christian can care for the Orphan or Waiting Child."   I am going to repost their list, a few at a time, a couple days at a time.  Please take time to read and reflect on how you might make a difference in the life of a child, or how you could help or support a family through the process.  
 
I am not posting these to make anyone feel uncomfortable about orphans, foster care or orphan care, but to advocate and be a voice for those who cannot speak.  Most of you reading this blog have supported our family in one way or the other during the last year, and we will need your support and guidance in the coming year as well.  Thank you for all that you have done for us and for others in their journey to save another. 
 
Here are the first 2 ways you can consider supporting an orphan or a waiting child:  (as posted in literature from Hope for Orphans)

 
#1.  Pray For Them. 

• Tape a waiting child’s picture to your dashboard and pray for the child every time you’re in a car. Visit AdoptUsKids.org or RainbowKids.com.
• Organize an evening prayer vigil at your church and pray for children in foster care or an orphanage overseas.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

#2. Speak Up For Them.

• Carry a waiting child’s picture and show it to other believers. Ask if they, or someone they know, would give this child a home. 
• Become a court appointed special advocate for a child in foster care. Visit NationalCASA.org for details.

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy

. -Proverbs 31:8-9

Watch Video:   http://vimeo.com/12616432

 

9 Months Waiting & Update

Wow.. time flies, but how I wish E was home with us. Last year I was SURE she’d be home for this Christmas. Now I pray that she’s home by next Christmas.

Referral/”the List”

The “Referral Clocks” for our agency are moving, but not very fast for girls right now. They are still referring little girls to couples who submitted their dossiers in September of 2009… so they are about 13 (almost 14) months out for referrals. Since we are on HOLD status, we won’t get our referral until probably August next year, when Faith is 6 months old, but at the rate things are going, our delay won’t be too much more than if we were still on “the list.”

Court Hearings/Embassy Appointments

Our Agency has reported that the time from court to embassy appointments are now between 4 – 6 weeks. Last year is was 8-12 weeks, so things are moving in the right direction. They also reported that they are now scheduling both court appointments on the same day (biological family and adoptive family); one in the morning and one in the afternoon. This should speed things up as well as sometimes these hearings were days or weeks apart. 

Acacia Village

Other awesome news is that CWA has finally opened Acacia Village, which will house up to 250 orphaned children who are waiting to go home with their forever family. CWA reports that they love their new space and there are plans for expansion that will allow CWA families and missionaries to stay there as well. Christian World Foundation is still taking donations for this awesome project. Check out this link if you want to learn more http://www.acaciavillage.org/

What’s Next?

We have touched base with our home study provider who will have to do our Home Study Update once Faith is born. We will then need to apply for an extension to the USCIS for our paperwork and fingerprints (they will expire before we complete our adoption process). We are hoping they grant us this extension. Otherwise, we will have to resubmit all of our paperwork and fingerprints to the tune of $890.00.

When will you have E home?

Our hope is that we could get our referral in August or September and then perhaps travel at least once by the end of the year. To complete our adoption by the end of next year would be such a blessing, especially since the Adoption Tax Credit expires at the end of 2011.

The Courts will most likely be closed next year for the rainy season (usually from August until October) when we get our referral, so we will have to wait for a court hearing date until after the courts reopen. But, if we would get our referral, then have our court date by late October… there could certainly be a chance to have E home by Christmas next year. How cool would that be?

But, if I’ve said it once, I’m sure I’ve said it a million times—I’m not in control of the timing of things. So we will continue to wait patiently for our little angel.

Thanks again for all of your support and prayers during our detour!

"Love is never tired of waiting." 1 Corinthians 13:4

Thinking Biblically

We attended Catalyst this year again. If you remember from earlier posts, this is where we really felt a definite answer to adopt vs. pursue a bio pregnancy last year (little did we know that God would respond and we’d be doing both!) This year’s topic was Tension – as in the Tension in good. We’ve had quite a year of tension, and yes, we can honestly say it has been good. It’s good to feel a tug at your heart, or a tug at your wallet or just a downright tension that makes you get up and do something about an issue. Without the tension in our lives, I think we’d be content just to sit around and wait for things to happen or complain about why things aren’t happening.


One of our biggest tensions over this past year has been trying to ‘explain’ to people why we feel we were called to adopt, why we are adopting from Ethiopia, and why we are adding to our ‘seemingly’ perfect family. Then, on top of that, we got pregnant – which was deemed medically impossible. Honestly some people think we are downright nuts, and I totally understand. Adoption is not for everyone. But it is something that we’ve been called to do. But still, we have those looks from people, and the ‘what the heck are you thinking’ comments from people, especially now that we are pregnant on top of adopting. Big families are definitely not the norm these days.

That was where my head had been as we went to Catalyst this year. Not that I feel the need to explain myself or my actions to ANYONE here on earth, but it still has me scratching my head and sometimes thinking, “maybe we are crazy…”… you know??

Thursday night’s speaker was Francis Chan. Brad and I adore this guy. We had the privilege to have breakfast with him last year and he is such a genuine and compassionate person. He started Cornerstone Church in California in 1994 with 30 people and by 2000, it had grown beyond 1600. This guy donates like 90% of his income, doesn’t take a salary, and donates all of his book royalties to charities. His home is always open to anyone, any time.  Anyway, lately he has taken a slight beating because he and his wife, along with their kiddos, have decided to step away from Cornerstone Church and go to Asia to follow God’s calling. So they are packing up, saying goodbye to their family and friends, and moving to Asia for an indefinite period of time. He said he’d be hypocritical if he didn’t do what God was asking… but yet even some of his peers disagree with his decision.

What is remarkable is that he is feeling the same tension as we are… slightly different scenarios, but same type of tension. He spoke of this issue, and it made my heart happy about what he had to say, or specifically what his wife had to say. This clip is over 7 minutes long, but if you can, at least listen to the first few minutes. It made us breathe a sigh of relief… not that everyone in our circle live their lives according to scripture… but if you did, would your story fit… or would you be the weird one?

See video below to watch Francis