Wordless Wednesday

No, really... you can go home Giardia!

The doctor called today to confirm Faith DOES have Giardia and since Ellie is still showing symptoms, he's calling in prescriptions for both of the girls.  [thankfully, he didn't make me do another 'collection' from Ellie -- although, I'm getting pretty good at it].  Not sure if I mentioned it earlier, but the medicine is hard to find and has to be specially compounded at an apothecary in another town.  So, hopefully they will have it ready in a day or two so we can start Round 1 for Faith and Round 3 for Ellie. Praying this does the trick, especially since we are going to the beach soon.  Ewwww.....  

Dear Giardia --- you can go home now!

We are still battling the ugly intestinal parasite, Giardia.  We thought Ellie was over it, since her meds were finished and her symptoms disappeared.  But, we were wrong, and now we think Faith has it too.  I suppose I shouldn't have been bathing them together until we had Ellie retested. [bathing 2 toddlers separate is difficult because inevitability, the one not being bathed ends up making some kind of mess in the bathroom – cleaning out drawers, playing in the toilet, unrolling all of the toilet paper, or peeing on the floor J]   So, more stool samples and medicine for our girls… more Clorox for the tub, and lots more diapers and wipes!   It’s not much fun and frankly I’m tired of poopy diapers.  And, did I mention that the smell can clear a city block?!   Our doctor said (not to alarm us) that he had a little girl from Ukraine that had to be treated 9 times before it finally went away.   We are hoping that is not our case.. although Ellie’s just finished her second round of medicine, and there is no improvement and Faith’s last sample isn't back from the lab yet!  Ugh!   

Ellie continues to make huge strides in her language and behavior.  She’s saying lots of words – mostly repeating when asked, but that's a start.  She’s slowly starting to use words on her own, and sometimes she uses the sign along with the word… just for clarification J   She is learning that biting and pinching isn’t the way to get things here at our home… a hard lesson, but she’s a fast learner.  She still tries it from time to time if she thinks I’m not watching -- she's a stinker for sure!   

Eating is getting MUCH better and she is trying many more things.  BUT, bananas and rice or noodles still seem to be her all-time favorite so for now, we are picking our battles and usually try to give her one of those at every meal.  It seems to calm her and not create so much stress a meal times.  Plus with her giardia, maybe some things just make her belly feel yucky.  She is sleeping like a champ.  We can now lay her in her crib drowsy and she will go to sleep on her own {with me sitting in the room}… which is a HUGE deal here at our home!!! Then, she will typically sleep for about 10 hours without waking.  [we think Miss Faith needs to take a few lessons from Ellie in that department].  

You can tell that she is beginning to relax and trust us more, which is wonderful.  She loves her brothers, “Co-Co” [Colton] and “Lylan or Lilly” [Dylan] and her sister “Baith.”  She makes the funniest faces and you wonder what she’s thinking!  She really does love being a big sister and is so very kind to Faith (most of the time).  You can tell she’s spent lots of time watching the nannies with the babies by the way she cares for her dolls and her baby sister.  If Faith cries or becomes upset, Ellie will usually try to pacify her with a drink, blanket, toy or a pacifier.  Sooo sweet.  And, you can tell she’s watched the nannies clean – as she always wants a wipe or a cloth to wash the door or the floor or whatever!   She is still obsessed with containers, lids and doors.  If you give her a container with a lid that she can put on and off, she's happy for a very long time.   She's still a little OCD about doors and gates.  We are still trying to figure that one out.. but for now, it's sometimes handy -- unless of course you are looking for something in the refrigerator -- she'll definitely try to close the door on you.  

 But, amongst all the fun, we can still see loss and grief coming through.   Sometimes we struggle to understand some of her behaviors, but then we think about all that she’s been through and it makes sense.  Trying to remember that is key – and it’s not easy.  A crying spell that lasts for 45 minutes isn’t the result of the toy that she didn’t want to share… it’s most likely the over pouring of grief and loss that she may be thinking about.  When you are amidst a 45 minute fit, it’s hard to remember that, and trying to explain that to our family [her brothers] and friends is not easy.  What easily looks like a spoiled toddler to most people is actually a hurt and struggling little girl trying to make sense of things.  But I admit, it is frustrating and hard at times.   Trying to decipher what is normal 2 year old behavior and what is perhaps grief may take some time to separate.  I keep forgetting, she's only been home for 10 weeks.    

So much more to update and write, but I'll have to close for now!  All in all we are doing well… the busy-ness is beginning to slow down and hopefully some of our sicknesses will go away ---  although as I write this, Ellie has a fever, and Faith's been blowing bubbles out her nose for a week. Ewwwww!!! Our family has missed church for almost a month because one person or the other is sick.  Praying we can make it there this week!!  

Here are some pictures of our girls! 

Ellie wearing Daddy's Shoes

First time in Pool --  not too sure about it.

Faith and Ellie rocking their babies.  Ellie is giving hers a kiss.

Wordless Wednesday :)

Doctors, Dentists and Tests, Oh My!!

15 appointments and 9 baseball games in the last 14 days (not including baseball practices) can make life a little interesting, especially when you are toting 2 toddlers around too. Oh yeah, and mixed in there was a trip to Colton’s 10th grade World Cultures class to talk about Ethiopia.  Life is never dull in the Baxter household, that's for sure!

We are done with our early intervention assessment and have already met with Ellie's special instructor.  She will come once a week for the next twelve weeks and help us with some speech and occupational therapy. I think she will be a tremendous help to Ellie (and us)!  After the 12 weeks, we’ll meet again with the assessment team to see what step will be next, if any!   

Meanwhile, Ellie went to her regular pediatrician for her 1st check up etc.  Part of a normal check up for internationally adopted kiddos is a Tuberculosis skin test. This test is typically performed two times – first, immediately after arriving home, and then again 3-6 months after arrival.  The 2^nd test is necessary because it is possible the child could have been exposed to TB as they were leaving the country, and it takes a while for it to show up in their system.  Our doctor warned us that it would probably show a positive reaction because she received the BCG vaccine in Ethiopia (a TB vaccine that is typically used in third world countries which injects a live-weakened strain of TB into the child).  Well, her skin test was positive.  A positive result doesn’t mean she has TB... It just means she's been exposed to it, perhaps from the BCG vaccine. The next step was a chest x-ray, which was negative for the disease.  What she has is called latent TB.  People with latent TB do not feel sick, do not have any symptoms, and cannot spread TB (small children can rarely spread the disease anyway, because their coughs are not powerful enough to send the germs into the air).  However, they may develop active TB at some time in the future so it is essential to take medicine to avoid developing active TB.  Active TB is very dangerous and can result in death.  Her case will also be followed by the Health Department to ensure she’s been treated so that she can attend public school in the future (she will always test positive – even after treatment).  So, we start treatment next week which consists of six months of taking an oral medicine!  I hope it tastes good or they can put flavor in with it, or it’s going to be a long six months!    

We also finished up her meds for Giardia, the yucky intestinal parasite, and she is in the process of being checked one more time, since it can be hard to get rid of.  And, she also finished her antibiotic for her ear infection… whew… this kid is getting good at taking medicine!   

Faith had her share of appointments as well, as a mysterious fever kept reappearing.  Have you ever had to hold down your 15 month old so they could get a urine specimen via a catheter to rule out a urinary tract infection? Not fun.. Luckily the mysterious fever went away a few days later... but 3 fevers in 6 weeks is no fun for anyone!   

Let's see.... we also had 2 teeth pulled, an orthodontist appointment,  2 dentist appointments and a hand X-rayed for our big boys... couldn't let them out of the action.  Fun times!  

I also had 2 annual check up appointments in the mix of things.... and although with everything going on with the kids I was tempted to cancel them, I know that if I'm not healthy, I can take care of my family -- so I went! 

I’m sure our insurance company is tired of seeing our names come through this month and will surely start an investigation into our family soon!! Ha ha!   I honestly didn't realize that being a mom of 4 kids can produce so many appointments and be a full time job!   Praying next month is not so 'eventful.'  

Twenty Toes

Happiness is having 20 squirmy toes to paint!  

(and, Ellie still has paint on 3 of her toes --we'll have to get that off later~)

What We've Been Up To (6 weeks in Pictures)

Besides having a sick kid every week for the last 4 weeks, and baseball season, and lots of end-of-year events and doctor/dentist appointments, etc., we've been pretty busy... but have still had some time for fun!....

So what have we been up to? ? ? 

Looking Pretty . . . heading to church

Trying to get 4 kids to smile and look at the camera
(I'm convinced it's not possible)

Two Squirmy Toddlers on Mother's Day

Smiling Pretty for the Camera

Aren't I cute?  

Ut Oh... mommy wouldn't let me have the camera! 

Three Tired Girls

Driving our Cars... beep, beep....

Playing in our Water Table

Ellie thinks the water is for drinking . . .

Faith thinks the water is for washing our hair . . . 

Silly girls . . . 

Tickle, Tickle . . . 

Prayer Warriors

Last night as the girls were getting ready for bed and going through our routine, I told them it was time for our prayers.  Faith, being her energetic-and-crazy-15-month-old-self wasn't really paying attention or complying with my request.  She chose to instead run around the room like a crazy person!


Elliana, in big sister style, walked over to her, yelled "Baith" (her name for Faith), grabbed her hands and showed her how to fold them for her prayers.  It was so cute, even if she was being a little forceful!


But hey, praying is serious business for Ellie.  From day one she has folded her hands (usually over her face) and says her prayers. We have no idea what she's saying, but that's ok.  The only One who matters knows what she's saying.  Maybe one day the girls will be prayer warriors for each other!

One Month Home

Well, we’ve been home for a little over a month.  Wow, time flies.  The last 4 weeks have been a blur.  We’ve all had a transition period – Ellie and our entire family.  You wouldn’t think one little person would make a huge difference in ‘life as usual,’ but it sure did.  One piece of advice I would give to anyone adopting (that is a working-out-of-the-home mom) is to take as much time off as you can.  I cannot imagine going right back to work after bringing Ellie home.  I was lucky to have 6 weeks off to attempt to get a schedule for our family (never mind that it’s the middle of baseball season and I had 2 sick kids within 4 weeks!).   I am now starting my 2^nd phase of my family leave and working from home for 6 weeks.  This will allow Ellie to transition into having another caretaker other than me (Meemaw & Nana), but will still give me the opportunity to be here in case she is not adjusting well, or having a particularly hard day. 

Elliana is doing exceptionally well.  I’m not going to lie and say things are totally blissful.  The last 4 weeks have been H-A-R-D.  We are amazed at what a little opinion she has already J One thing we have to continually remind ourselves is that the culture in Ethiopia is a bit different than ours.  They do not typically use discipline with their children (I’m guessing they do not have to).  Children seem to be rarely told ‘no’ and they do not like (or allow) their children to cry.  So, you can imagine the huge transition it is for Elliana to come into a household that has boundaries and some discipline, and yes, it’s true… even some ‘nos.’  Because we have another toddler in our home, it’s hard to have one set of rules for Ellie, and another set of rules for Faith (and I’m pretty sure Faith is taking notes on things Ellie is allowed to do and she is not)… so we are trying to be as consistent as possible, realizing that we may have to parent Ellie a little different than we did our other 3.  But, occasionally we must tell the poor baby “no” since there are some things that are just not safe for her to have (no honey, you can’t have the butcher knife on the counter).   Elliana coming to the realization that she cannot have everything her heart desires has been devastating for her at times.   But, we continue to see improvements in Ellie every day.   She runs to both of us for kisses, hugs, reassurance and to kiss boo-boos.  She is enjoying being a big sister and gives Faith kisses, hugs and pats her back when she lies down at night (it’s so cute).  Her speech is still not completely up to speed, but for a child labeled as ‘not speaking at all’, she is doing great and saying at least 25 to 30 words and doing some sign language as well.  She totally understands what we are saying (which amazes me) and will do most anything you ask of her (most of the time).  She is very smart and loves clapping for herself when she accomplishes a task! 

She also has a funny thing for cats.  Apparently there were stray cats that would bother the orphanage and I’m sure she’s witnessed the nannies doing this.  When she sees a cat (either in a book, TV, in person, etc.) she will say, “get” and “pssst” and will wave her arms around to ‘shoo’ the cat away.  It is hilarious.  We have 3 cats around our home, so to watch her (and her buddy Faith) shoo the cats away is so funny.  We have since taught her that not all cats are bad, so she does pet our cats now and gives them kisses, but her first gut-reaction is still to start yelling ‘get…cat..psstt…’…. too cute.  Maybe one day I can get both the girls in action on video and post it.  If she hears a cat, she runs to the window or door and says, “b-eow!”  

Where we are having some challenges are at meal times and bed times.  Elliana is not adjusting well to ‘American’ food.  She still prefers about 4 or 5 things and that’s about it.  Attempting to have her try something new can put her into a very loud, very big tantrum.  If she sees you coming with something new, she will shake her head and hand and start yelling, “No, No, No!!”   Each meal attempt can easily take over an hour and then another ½ hour to clean up all of the food that she threw J  And, I still have 3 other kids and a husband to feed after all of that!  I have become quite the short-order cook!   We are seeing improvements every day and are beginning to work with an occupational therapist to help her transition into more than 5 foods!  This should be interesting but we are hopeful. 

Bed time is challenging as well and I’m sure that has to do with a separation fear, so we are trying everything we can to make her feel comfortable enough to fall asleep feeling safe and secure.  Then, we can move her into her crib.  This can sometimes take up to 2 hours or more.  She will not tolerate us putting her in a playpen, crib or other confined area, until she is already sleeping.  Where the tricky part comes in is that we have Faith (who is 15 months old).  They share a room, so if Ellie screams and cries for 2 hours, it typically keeps Faith up too, or wakes her up at some point.  Then, we have 2 tired and crying toddlers to deal with.  But, I’m happy to say that our 2 hour routine is now down to about an hour, so I think we are making progress!  Yay! 

So, what are we doing to get through some of the ‘bumps in the road?’ 

1. We've already visited the International Adoption Unit at the Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia.  They have been following Ellie’s medical and social history since we received our referral.  They have been such a wonderful blessing and resource.  It was so nice to finally meet the doctor who had been giving us such great advice for the last 6 months.  Our initial appointment and visit with 2 occupational therapists was almost 3 hours.  I have an entire post about our experience that I will post later. But all I can say is what a great, great resource these professionals were to our family.
2. We've already been in contact in our Early Intervention folks here in PA.  We’ve had our initial interview, and they are coming to assess Ellie next week.  I didn’t know that this is a Federal program (but run by the State) that is free until the child is 3.  They can offer her speech, occupational, behavioral and emotional/social therapy.  I’m pretty sure she will at least qualify for speech therapy.  Much of her (and our) frustration is because she lacks the words to tell us what she needs.  Most of the time, we can figure it out; sometimes we cannot.  I think she is doing great at picking up words and using them correctly, but at the same time, it would be great if we could communicate better with her instead of us trying to interpret her grunts, snorts, pointing, and tantrums.   
3. I spoke to our Agency’s Post Adoption Counselor.  For some reason, I put off contacting her for a month because I wanted to figure things out on my own.  But, we want the VERY BEST for our daughter (emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.) so I thought perhaps she may be able to give me a few tips (especially since she’s an adoptive mom too).  Wow, I’m so glad I spoke to her.  She gave me a few tips, but mostly she just reassured me that what we are doing is correct and to not be afraid to rely on my mothering instincts.  Yes, Ellie is adopted and we may have to parent her a little differently, but every child is unique and might not respond to ‘text book’ or ‘proven adoption techniques.’   (that’s our Ellie-girl!) Mostly we have to parent her with our hearts and the intuition that God has given us.  She also told me some stories from other parents with children from Ethiopia and what helped their children transition.  So glad I made that call.      
4. Praying A LOT.  God has orchestrated this plan for our family and He knows what is best – so trying to remember God has a plan for us and our family has brought peace to our minds.  He already knew the challenges we’d be facing, so now we just need to be obedient and trust in His plan.  I am so excited to see what He has in store for Ellie’s life.  She is such a vibrant little girl. 
5. Not that I have a lot of time to read, but I re-read Chapters 10 & 11 from the book “Successful Adoption – A Guide for Christian Families.”  The Author is Natalie Nichols Gillespie.  Chapter 10 is titled, “We Gotcha!  Now What?,” and Chapter 11 is titled, “Helping Them Heal: Bonding and Other Post-Placement Concerns.”  What is love about this entire book is that it is written from a biblical point of view, (and a fellow adoptive mom), not just from a doctor’s point of view.   It helped me realize that we are not the only family who has a toddler that is still grieving her old life. 

So, yes, we’ve had our share of challenges with Ellie and Faith and our teenage boys adjusting to our new “life as normal’, but Ellie is a wonderful addition to our family…and I can honestly say that God has placed her perfectly into our family.  She’s such a sweet mix of both of our personalities – the good, the bad and yes, sometimes even the ugly.  We both have to laugh when we see parts of our personality in her.  Only God could have planned that so perfectly and He’s probably laughing too watching us deal with OUR same issues in her.  Now we know how He must have felt as He was trying to help us ‘see the light.”   But, as God does with us, we are happy to extend Elliana our love, mercy and grace as many times as she needs it.        

So, if you are wondering where we’ve been or what we’ve been up to, this little post should give you some idea!  

She's Official

We received Ellie's USCIS Certificate of Citizenship on Saturday, so now we can apply for her Social Security card.  But, since we are not going to keep her name Geneme Bradley Baxter, I guess I have to see about changing her name first?   And just when we thought we were done with adoption paperwork . . . we've also begun to assemble pictures for our first post-adoption report, which is due at the end of June!  

Hope to post more soon.  She is doing awesome, so hope to share some thoughts, stories and more pictures soon.  But for now, I'll leave you with a few photos

Hanging out on mom's lap

She loves the slide! 

Two Divas drinking their morning cup of milk

Loves Bubbles (but she likes to eat them too)!