Webster's defines "Waiting" as: to stay in place in expectation of; to remain inactive . . .
I must be doing something else then. I don’t feel like I’m inactive or in a place of expectation. I feel like every day that goes by is one less day of waiting instead of one more day of waiting… if that makes sense. We’ve also been crazy busy with pregnancy stuff, constant appointments and preparing for Baby Faith, but I have not one day felt inactive in our adoption process. We have never felt like Baby E is not going to come. Baby E is still very much a part of our family. The boys talk about her constantly. We refer to Faith and E as “the girls” and it’s so funny to hear us say that after it just been us and ‘the boys’ for so many years. The girls’ room is quickly becoming a paradise of pink, posies, butterflies and dainty little things. We continue to collect things for E, as we are purchasing things for Faith. Oh what a happy day when these 2 girls finally meet… and how wonderful that God chose them to be sisters. We are beyond thrilled! I recently saw this quote, and I think I’m going to get it for their room as I think this has such a unique meaning for these 2 little girls:
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.I must admit, however, that in a world of instant gratification, I’d love to snap my fingers and have both of the girls here right now. But, Faith’s not quite ready to enter the world yet, and E is not yet ready for our family yet. I fully believe that God’s already chosen her for our family, but have no idea if she's already born, still in her mommy's tummy, or what her circumstance is. But, trusting God is the only thing I can do. I think the transition from having 2 children to 4 will be good to happen in stages as well, and God is fully aware of that. Plus, as a mommy who now has 2 pretty self-sufficient boys, going back to the infant stage and sleepless nights is going to be a slight challenge. God knew that as well and He has it all perfectly under control. (I hope I do when we have these 2 little girls)
So, as we wait, and have many things to keep us busy, the reality is, it’s still not our timing so we will see what God has in the plan for 2011. We are desperately hoping to have E home by next Christmas, but we know all the twists and turns international adoption can take, so we will continue to wait and hope. Once Faith arrives (in less than 4 weeks, hopefully!!), we will be back in adoption-mode full force getting our home study amended and re-doing most of our dossier documents. Hopefully, we should be back on the list and receive our referral in August or September.
In the meantime, I’ll lean on the one scripture that keeps me focused:
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31
