Fast forward one year. Wow. If you would have told us last year that in January of 2011 we’d be awaiting the arrival of a baby (not from Ethiopia but from my tummy), I would have thought you were crazy! Never, Never, Never in a million years would I have thought this was possible. Never would I have thought we’d be getting a nursery ready for 2 babies (one from my tummy and one from Ethiopia). If you would have told me 5 years ago that we would have 4 children, I would have laughed at you! You know when you go for a job interview and they ask you what your goals are and where you think you’ll be in 5 years…??? Well, I never saw any of this coming. I would have said you had the wrong chick! Ha!
I can’t explain the changes that have taken place in our life over the last 5 years, and specifically, the last 18 months. Well, yes I can. It’s all God’s doing. A good friend always tells me that if you can logically explain things, then it wasn’t a God thing. So many things in our life today are God things. Honestly, it’s pretty neat to look at our life over the last 5 years and see how God has stepped in and taken over the reins (mostly because we got out of His way and allowed it). I honestly do not know where we’d be today if our path didn’t drastically change a few years ago. (well, yes I do.. let’s just say, broken home, broken marriage, broken-hearted kids and lots of heartache… which is why we are so passionate about marriages too.. but that’s a different blog and different story)
Everything still seems surreal. Waiting has been hard, especially knowing that we have at least another 6 months until we can get a referral for Baby E. Waiting for Baby Faith has been hard too. Oddly hard. I don’t remember being so anxious and impatient when our boys were born, but I think we were in a different spot. We were busy.. trying to make a name and life for ourselves and just getting by. Things are different now. Priorities are different; we are older and wiser; we don’t really care what people think anymore and we are ready to slow down and embrace this little girl. One good thing is with Baby Faith, I know where she is (in my tummy), I can feel her move, see her move and know she is nearby. I can talk to her and she can hear me and she’s part of my daily world, and, I have a ‘general’ idea when she will arrive.
I can’t imagine how hard it is going to be after we know Baby E’s face, but have to wait to meet her and then wait to bring her home. She won’t be a part (physically) of our everyday world. We won’t be able to tell what she’s doing, how she’s doing, won’t be able to talk to her and she won’t be able to hear us. It’s going to be very hard, and I empathize with everyone out there currently waiting for your child(ren) to come home!
So again, as much as I’d like to have it all figured out and have a perfect plan and explanation for everything that’s coming in our future, I revert back to 2 verses in Proverbs (since I love Proverbs):
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)
Can’t argue with that!