Friday, October 28, 2011

Still Waiting

Nope. Nothing again this week. Apparently there is an issue at the lab. Uggh. There are so many roads my mind can go down right now, but I’m trying to remain calm. I'll be honest. It's not easy. I'm so afraid that her original sample is no longer useable so they will have to draw it again, which could take a few more weeks. Or what if they run out of the reagent again ... See here I go again. It's a constant battle for me to stay out of panic mode. That's not cool. I have keep my mind on things that I know as truth:

Philippians 4:6-7. Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

 8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Please pray that these issues get resolved. We need ONE test result to be entered onto her medical report in order to approve her medicals and be submitted for court. ONE. Everything else is complete. My heart hurts for our little girl who has spent most of her life waiting… and stuck in a process that she had no control over.

We are almost 2 years in the adoption process. Granted, we were pregnant and had a baby in there too, but it just seems like we have been waiting for this little girl forever.  This summer, I was hesitant to plan anything for November or December, thinking we would be traveling. Now, November is almost here, and we are nowhere close to traveling. Booh. This is to be expected in an international adoption, I know, but knowing it and living in it are 2 different things.   I still know, however, that waiting is part of God's plan for us.  I don't fully understand it, but I know the waiting is continuing to draw us closer to Him.  That's not a coincidence.  It's part of the plan. 

But, it’s still hard… knowing her face…and knowing a little about her personality. She’s there and we are here. It just stinks.

Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names.

They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.

It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms.

But once you do, everything changes.

Radical by David Platt

Even Baby Faith is being changed and molded in this process. Here she is giving ‘kiss-kiss’ to Sissy.  She loves looking at Baby E 's pictures.

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